Say it (and take it) with a smile
Feedback doesn't always have to hurt
April 19, 2015
Pairing is Caring
At Dev Bootcamp, we are required to pair program a miminum of 3 times a week. If you haven't ever heard of pair programming, it's essentially the process of working through a problem with another person. You both discuss what the code should do, how it ought to be solved, and walk through the process of wriging code, testing and refactoring it. It's both rewarding and challenging, but for the most part I've enjoyed the opportunity to work through problems with others. "Pairing is Caring" was the phrase that DBC used to talk about paring.
The cons, first
One thing I found to be challenging with pairing is the feeling of being put on the spot. There have been a few occasions where my pairs had already solved the problem ahead of time or had an idea on how to code it up. Sometimes it takes time to look at someone else's code and understand what they are trying to do, particularly when the logic gets complicated. I always feel bad when I don't 'get it' immediately and have to have them walk me through their code a bunch of times before I understand what's going on. For me, I have found coding to be something that requires a quiet environment, a lot of concentration and solo-thinking to work through challenges so working with another person can be feel like a bit of pressure sometimes.
The pros, mostly
On the other hand, having an opportunity to discuss how to solve a problem with another person is extremely rewarding. As much as I need quiet time to work through a problem on my own, in my head, I also need a chance to talk about problems that I might find myself getting stuck at. It's also great to have an opportunity to see how others might go about solving a problem, and also learn new expressions.
Feedback
At DBC, we are also required to provide anonymous feedback to our pairs and also take feedback from others. I really enjoyed giving feedback to those that I felt were fantastic pairs, and on the other hand, struggled to give constructive feedback to those I felt needed constructive feedback. DBC has a feedback standard called ASK, which stands for Actionable, Specific, and Kind.
I think the trouble I found with giving constructive feedback had more to do with having difficulty pin-pointing what it is that I may have struggled with, with their style of pairing. When you assume that everyone is trying their best, and have the best intentions at heart, it can be difficult to say, "I felt you weren't paying attention to my suggestions," or "the way you explained something was very confusing to me."
Receiving feedback was also difficult on occason. It's easy to receive positive feedback, but constructive feedback can be a little tough to swallow, particularly when I already knew that I struggled with loops and/or maybe I was just having a really difficult day with my energy level and had trouble thinking clearly. A lot of the constructive feedback I received were true, however, and as much as it may have felt a little disappointing at first, it was great to be reminded, in a positive way, of what areas I needed to work on.
Conclusion
My dad always used to say that there's a dozen different ways you could say the same thing - what makes a difference is your tone.You could say "you did great" with a smile, or you could say "you did great" with jealousy or sarcasm in your tone. I think in terms of giving and receiving feedback, the same thing applies. When giving feedback to someone, imagining yourself smiling while you give feedback. It could make a world of difference in how the feedback is perceived by the receiver. Likewise, taking feedback doesn't have to be such a blow if you could smile about it and say, "that's a great point, I should work on that." Overall, I really enjoy this practice at giving and receiving feedback. I think it is a practice in communication that would go a long ways, not just in the workplace but with interpersonal relationships.